Editor’s Note: This post is dedicated to “dc gal” who left a comment, asking me to share some of my practical tips for new moms. There are a lot of opinions about how to care for a newborn, and the best way to know what works for you is to figure things out by trial and error. But for anyone who needs a place to start, here are some principles that works well for me.
I pulled my knowledge from about six different books on baby care. My favorite information came from The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau.
1.Schedules are good. Even as adults we all live by schedules. We eat at basically the same times each day, go to bed around the same time, and get up about the same time. We humans enjoy structure in our lives. Of course, babies hold a different schedule than adults because their needs are different.
Just remember this pattern: Eat, Activity, Sleep (taken from The Baby Whisperer). When the baby wakes in the morning, feed her, play with her, and then put her down for a nap. For babies under four months, this is approximately a three-hour pattern. For babies four months and older, it’s a four-hour pattern.
You should realize that there is some room for flexibility. For example, when my son was under three months old, he wanted to eat every two and a half hours. So I fed him on that schedule. However, a child who is eating more frequently than every two hours has learned to “snack” through the day. If this is the case, you may have to suffer through some crying to help your child get on the right schedule and teach her to eat enough to last her the appropriate amount of time.
2.Use a pacifier. When babies are born, they only know how to perform a few actions—sleep, poop, cry, and suck. Many people don’t realize a baby cannot control his urge to suck anymore than his need to sleep, poop, and cry. That’s why I’m a proponent of using pacifiers. Many people think the desire to suck means hunger, but using a bottle or breast to satisfy your baby creates other problems—overfeeding, possible cavities, and creating a “snacker,” a baby that eats all day but never really gets full, which also causes sleep problems.
There’s nothing wrong with using a pacifier. They give the baby something to suck on to relieve that overwhelming desire without using a bottle or breast to sooth. Yes, you will eventually have to break your baby of using it. You’re also going to have to potty train, but that doesn’t keep you from putting your baby in diapers. Take things one stage at a time.
3.Give your baby regular naps. An overtired child is a cranky child. That’s hard enough to deal with. Besides that, good sleep during the day actually helps your baby sleep better at night. There are times when we can’t avoid being out during naptime, but as much as possible, try to keep your little one in his own crib to sleep.
4.Create a bedtime routine. Bedtime was one of our favorite times of day when my kids were babies. My husband got to spend a little extra time with the babies (which relieved Mom), and the children got lots of special attention.
We turned on soft music and a lamp, and together we gave the baby a bath. My husband loved to sit in the rocking chair and read a storybook and a passage of scripture and pray for the family. Then after some kissing and hugging, we turned on a sound machine, and I sang and rocked the baby to sleepiness.
5.Use a sound machine. Babies came from the womb, which is a noisy place—blood swishing, heart beating, noises from the outside world. A completely quiet house can actually disturb a baby’s sleep. This is where a sound machine can help. Purchase an adult sound machine—no lights, music, or moving parts like they have on baby sound machines—and set it on a setting that sounds like static. You can even use an unplugged baby monitor for static. The noise should be loud enough to hear from the other side of the door.
This was a lifesaver for us. We could watch television, talk, and do other noisy things like wash dishes or even run the blender, and we didn’t have to worry about waking the baby because the sound machine covered the noise.
6.Rock your baby to sleepiness. I always thought rocking my baby to sleep would spoil him. My mom told me horror stories of rocking my brother and me to sleep only to wake us up when she laid us in the crib. So for a few weeks after my first child was born, I didn’t even use my rocking chair.
I was so jealous when Grandma would come over and rock him in her arms. I wanted to spend that kind of time with my baby, but I thought it would make me a bad mother, teaching my baby to fall asleep in my arms and not his crib.
I decided that I would rock him to sleep anyway, and then I discovered the trick to rocking your baby: Don’t rock him to sleep, but rock him to sleepiness. When you see those eyes blinking and drifting off, lift him up and put him in his bed.
7.Use a swaddle for babies under three months old. When I brought my firstborn home from the hospital, I was too lazy to learn how to swaddle. He slept so good the first two days, I figured that I didn’t need to do it anyway. Then the real baby soon came out of hiding! I watched videos and practiced until I got it right. And that was the best investment of my time.
8.Beware of over stimulation. An over-stimulated baby will not sleep well, eat well, or be at peace. Babies under three months old can’t handle all the noises, smells, sights, and sensations of the world around them, so when things get too much for their little minds and bodies to handle, they cry … and cry … and cry. Many experts believe that a “colicky” baby is actually an over-stimulated baby.
It takes very little to over stimulate a baby. Look at it from the baby’s perspective—coming from a womb to this environment where there are funny smells and fast moving objects and lights blinking and toys making crazy noises and movements and televisions screaming and changing so fast.
To keep from over stimulating your newborn:
- Tone down toys—no need for bright flashing lights or moving parts. A rattler is enough for a newborn.
- Turn off the TV—according to experts, children under two should not watch television at all. No, not even Baby Einstein.
- Keep the child in quiet, peaceful atmospheres.
- Make sure nap schedules are kept
9.One last thing I want to mention, and perhaps the most important: remember, your baby will grow. It won’t be this way forever. Let that thought comfort you in the hard times and convict you in the good times to cherish every moment.